August | 2017 | thechroniclesofanonbellymama

When Callie and I decided to become parents, we went back and forth about how many children each of us wanted. I was easily talked off the “19 Kids and Counting” ledge, and I tried my best to help Callie creep a little closer to the “Maybe Brady” mentality. We met somewhere in the middle of my ideal family of 7 kids and 2 moms and her “I hated being 2 kids so 3 is more my speed”, and settled on 5. Until we had 4!!! I swear to you, about 6 hours from our youngest being born, our thoughts became audible when a massive “FUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKK THAT” could be heard in our hospital room when someone had the audacity to ask us if we were thinking of having more. Or maybe we just imagined that! Who knows! We were delirious.

We’ve gone back and forth several times about the subject of baby #5. Some weeks (when we are totally head over heels again and find that cute little pocket of “how we used to be when we first met”), we are ALL OVER baby #5, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that our relationship has been, well…”going through it” right now. I haven’t really talked about this in depth, but Callie and I have been going to therapy bi-weekly because things have been less than stellar at home. My wife is a ~~hoarder~~ collector of things (diagnosed or not!) and it is a HUGE source of contention in our house/relationship/family life. I grew up in a house that was immaculate. No, I’m serious! Like, NOT normal immaculate, so I’ll give Callie that one. But she also grew up in a house where I had no idea there was a dinner table because it was literally a mountain of CRAP (still is!) in the middle of the dining room. A space where you have to shimmy down the hall to get to the bathroom (which also, I refuse to use…you get where I’m going with this!). Totally not normal either! I just want to live somewhere in the middle, and that has become increasingly difficult because now she is not just ~~hoarding~~ accumulating things for herself, she is also ~~hoarding~~ amassing everything that belongs to the other 4 members of our household. Good thing is, things are getting better, communication has been WAY more effective, and we’ve been able to find more middle ground about all of ~~the totally useless shit~~ Callie’s “valuables”. Most of the past 6 months have been a lot of working on communicating, finding middle ground/compromise, and learning how to bend and give in sometimes. We’re not perfect (wellllllllllllllllllllllll…. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) but we’re working on being good spouses which I think got a little lost somewhere in the chaos of 3 under 3, and a moody, likely hormonal, premenstrual Pre-teen! (SEND HELP!)

So the prospect of my already so loved 5th child has been dwindling because of, well, life, and I have to admit, it stings a little. Sometimes it feels like 4 is just the perfect amount of kids, and sometimes I do headcounts in my head when we go out and I automatically say “…4 ANNNNDDDD 5!” without really thinking about it, and suddenly my heart gets so sad about Littlest Mendez possibly being a figment of my imagination. As I’ve been stewing over this (im)possible decision and life change, and also grappling with the craziness that is OUR LIVES ALREADY, I decided, “You know what?! Now isn’t really the time. Maybe it’s NEVER really gonna be the time. We are so busy with the 4 we have already. Activities are expensive! Time and efforts are already spread so thin. GROCERIES! Individually dedicated time is hard enough with FOUR let alone five! Now isn’t the time!”

And no sooner do I utter those words, do I get a phone call:

“Hello Mrs. Mendez! This is Ms. S from the Resource Unit at ::Government Agency:: We have a 7 month old little boy that has been sitting in the Pediatric Unit since 10 am (currently 4:45pm) and we haven’t been able to find placement for him. Would you and Mrs. Mendez be interested in caring for him?”

“Ummmm….ummmmm…ummmm…ummmmm””

“I’ll let you speak to her, and then you can give me a call back and decide. He’s such a good baby. Severely neglected, head is very flat, has no muscle control, and can’t sit up or hold his bottle yet, but he is so oblivious and won’t stop smiling and laughing. He has blue eyes and dirty blonde curly hair. If she has any questions, have her call me and I can give her more info! Even if it’s just temporary for a few days until we find a permanent placement, he needs somewhere desperately!”

“Ummmm….ummmmm…ummmm…ummmm, sure! I’ll call her! Let me get back to you!”

I give Callie a call, but she already knew what was going on. She had already heard the voicemail because apparently the worker had called her first. Callie of course had her reservations becuase FIVE KIDS with 4 UNDER 4, but she called and had a few more questions answered about the biological family, the conditions he was found in, if they have any immediate concerns and things like that. (SB: Callie is MUCH MUCH better at the “nosy neighbor” thing than I am. She can formulate about 100 questions before I can think of just ONE!) After speaking to the worker, Callie called me back to let me know what she thought, and she thought a hell of a lot of stuff. We talked about our concerns, our hopes, our reservations, our interest in investing time and energy into an infant that likely has some developmental and emotional delays. But one thing sealed the deal.

His name. This past year, I have begun to restore my faith in Something bigger than me. And before Callie and I had spoken, I asked the Universe and God to send me a sign and let us know what to do. When Callie told me his name, I knew! My heart, OUR hearts knew! His name was the same name that Callie and I spent my entire pregnancy arguing about. She wanted to name Austin, well, Austin, and I wanted a different name. A 4 letter name to match Levi and Noah, but she wasn’t having it! When they told us that the baby had the name that I so desperately wanted for our youngest son, Callie and I looked each other in the eyes and knew. We just knew he had to be with our family, albeit temporary, but we have to see what this “5 kids” thing is about.

So, at 6:15pm Wednesday 8/23/17, just over a week ago, Little R joined the Mendez’s. He is a smiley boy, with big expressive blue eyes, adorable puffy little lips, and this tuft of wiry dirty blond hair. He was kept in a car seat most of the time, so even when you pick him up, his little legs stay in a sitting position, and his head really issssss super flat, so we’ve been avoiding putting him down if we can (get those back and neck muscles strong), offering super cuddle puddles with ALLLLLL the kids (because from what we understand there wasn’t a lot of interaction or human contact for him), singing to him, rocking him, and giving him LOADS of tummy time. Even the teachers say they see a pretty significant improvement from last week! Guys, I have to say, this baby is a dream! He is the least trouble of all of the kids, sleeps from 6:30pm to 6:30am without waking up, and even when he is tired or hungry, it’s two little cries and wait. That simultaneously makes me really happy (YAS!!! No crying infants!) but also really sad (did no one ever come to this crying infant that he doesn’t even bother!?!)

So, at least for now, we are a family of seven. Two ladies who lost their damn minds, a prepubescent almost 10 year old daughter (LORDT, help us!), 3 toddlers (enough said!), and an infant who couldn’t have been a better addition to our family!

HANGING OUT WITH KITTY

ALL THE CUTENESS!!!

EXCUSE MY FACE…LOL!

Halfway through the summer, and to say that it’s been busy is an understatement. There has been SO much going on! Between shuttling the kids around to different activities, house/apartment hunting, vacationing, boating, and SURGERY (that’s really what this post is about), we’ve barely had time to do laundry and grocery shopping! Here’s a few pics of summer so far, just to fill you in! Few bullet points while I’m at it too!

* Mariah is having the summer of her life! Vacationing with grandparents, sailing school, soccer camp, and a visit with her birth mom coming up (ugh for us, yay for her!), she’s exclaimed several times, “BEST. SUMMER. EVER!”

Hiking the Adirondaks!

Learning to sail on her own

They were next!

Tubing on the Delaware

* Noah has really had an explosion of language this summer. He can often be heard around the house saying, “Ackkk-shully, I don’t want that! And ackkk-shully, it’s my turn!” Yeah…”actually” is a real thing that my 2.5 year old says incessantly and in context. Also, “oh shit!” He says that quite a bit too. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ He has suddenly become this animal/bug lover and INSISTS on saying hello to every animal he sees on the street, even pigeons and squirrels and like, WHY?!?! He is 98% potty trained with the exception of having had a handful of poop accidents, but even then it’s mostly our fault because we know his “times” and we still haven’t gotten it down to a science. He’s working on recognizing the letters of his name, and can get through the N and the O before repeating them again for the A and H…sorta like, “my name is NOAH and my letters is N..O…N…O”.. Yeah, that’s basically his name these past few weeks. “NO, noah..no!” Still as cute as ever though!

“SHEEEESEEE MAMA!”

Potty Time!

Insisting on being a “sirena” like his sister!

My little animal lover

First time fishing (catch and release upon Noah’s insistence!)!

He loves his mama

Dapper young sir

*Levi has really been a terror these past few weeks. There have been quite a few transitions at home with vacation, packing for moving, my surgery, a new teacher in his classroom, and if there is anything we have noticed, he does not do well with change. Throw in A LOT of change, and well, he’s miserable. He is absolutely our rough and tumble kid though. There is nothing that scares this kid! Not heights, not rocks, not the dark, not the threat of a pow-pow on his tiny hiny, NOTHING! He jumps from the 3rd step, climbs the highest chair, and always has to run, “fast, fast fast, with my light shoes”! He’s 2 seconds from riding a two wheeler and can almost always be found sitting on his blue balance bike, even while he sits in the living room watching Mickey Mouse Roadster Racers (if i hear, “mamaaaa, kiki mouse roader racies is alllllll done! AGAIN!” one more time, I may lose it!) eating blueberries with no clothes on. Yes, that has happened. Several times. He’s still our super funny, super affectionate boy who has a sweet tooth for DAYS and the tiniest sweetest little voice when he respectfully asks, “mama….may i peeeeese havie my pacieeee-fiiiiiyah!?!” Also, math skills for days. Can count to the mid 20’s in two languages and sorting for him is a joke! Cool kid for sure.

Fisrt train ride was EVERYTHING!

“MAMA, I swim!”

He absolutely LOVES karate!

Bubble time

Handsome Buddy

Loving rides on Mama’s back

*Austin, well, there is so much to say about this little guy. Currently at 19 months he outweighs his brothers by close to 7lbs (who who think he was under 4lbs when he was born!?), and is still not really speaking. We got him approved for speech services and have been working with the coordinators to find him a bilingual therapist. He’s our best sleeper, eater, and traveler. Most of the times he can be found on a mound of pillows mushing and cuddling, all of his own doing. He’s expert climbing and sliding without any assistance because of the 4 words he DOES have, 3 of them are “ME DO IT!” although no one else would understand it because it sounds like, “MEyoueeeee”. He has this ability to just know when people are not well, physically, emotionally or mentally. In fact, we were coming out of an elevator the other day, and a woman was waiting to walk in. 2 seconds before the door closes, Austin rips outta my hands, runs towards the elevator, into the woman’s legs and hugs her. She immediately reached down and picked him up, he hugged her, and she cried. “I just needed that and you knew”. The most beautiful thing? He let her hug him and he hugged her right back. Normally, i wouldnt be cool with this sort of thing at all, but he is such a special boy. Love, Joy, and a different kind of innocence exudes from this kid. Also, everyone keeps INSISTING I get him a haircut. NOPE! So glad he’s ours…

Being all patriotic!

Ice Pops are his absolutely FAVE!

One of the handful of words he knows is “CHEESE”

Scheming lakeside

Rainbow Avenger

Sleepy time cuddly boy

*The Wife is working hard, getting promoted every time we have some major life event happening (2 promotions in less than 4 months!), still interested in fostering/producing more babies now that we have a big HOUSE (more on that later!), momming on level EXPERT, and still being an amazing wife to me even though I have been a less than stellar wife to her (not excusable, but you’ll understand…read on!). Also…still the hottest woman I know, and still the best thing that could have happened to me.

Me and my Love

❤ ❤ ❤

Always feeling lucky with this lady

A “whaley” great time on family vacation 7/17

So about 1000 words in (you are seriously long winded Sammie, sheesh!), the real reason for this post. “Sleeves in Summer” is alllllll about the surgery that I had a month ago. On 7/6/2017 at 6am, I went in to have weight loss surgery. A month and 3 days later I am down 31 lbs and under 200lbs, which hasn’t been a thing for me in 17 years. Since 2000, which happens to be my junior year which is why I remember it so vividly and accurately. I remember declining going to the senior prom with a friend because I couldn’t fathom trying to find a “fat dress” since I was over 200lbs and all of my friends were all wered double 0 and shopping at Aber.Crombie which, I couldnt fit in my luscious size THIRTEEN jeans! Seriously! a freaking 13!!! Like, Marilyn Monroe wore a 13 and I wouldn’t go to Macy’s and get a dress from the “Plus size” section! So this has been a thing for as long as I can remember.

Weight loss surgery was something that came up before with my PCP, but we always sorta said, “You’re young. You have time. You can always lose weight later”, but all things said and done, weight loss never happened. I have tried EVERYTHING with the exception of Weight Watchers (mainly because I’m cheap but also because I freaking hate routine on my free time). Curves, Insulin Resistance Diet, diet pills, dieting, exercise, food restrictions, boot camp, you name it! It would work for a few weeks, and then i would just plateau or gain it all back. We discussed a little more after seeing the endocrinologist how my hormones and PCOS plays a huge role in my weight loss plan, but ultimately, it was the MAIN reason I could now lose weight and KEEP it off. I could go into very exact and medical reasons for not losing weight due to PCOS, but generally speaking, hormonal imbalance due to PCOS makes it difficult to lose weight, and losing weight is the only tried and true way to “cure” PCOS. SO since i was about 16, it’s been this vicious cycle of +/- 50lbs every few months, which you can imagine is NOT GOOD for a human body. So after I gave birth to Austin, Callie and I decided to look into this as a solution for a lot of my medical issues (also tied in with PCOS {and because of PCOS} is HBP, High Cholesterol, High Glucose, Sleep Apnea, and ulcers in my stomach. Throw all of those health issues into the mix with 4 beautiful children and a hopefully LONG ASS LIFE, and nothing was jiving, so we decided that this was the best option.

I’ll say, there were two times when I thought it was the WORST possible thing I could have done. I cried my face off saying, “WHAT HAVE I DONE!? I’ve ruined my life!” But a month and 3 days out, 31lbs down, BP normal averaging at 127/65 (my average was usually 160/100), sleeping ALL NIGHT, and all the size 38 and 40 and XXL and XL stuff out of my closet, I have to say, best decision I could have ever made! I may not have loads of energy now (portions are literally less than a quarter of what I used to eat so still adjusting to getting in the correct amount of protein a day which BTW is TOTALLY a process and entirely time consuming) but it feels like I’m getting back to my old self every day, and I wouldn’t change anything about this decision. Heartburn is the WORST thing i have ever experienced (never had heartburn EVER prior to surgery), but all in all, feeling good, and doing good.

I originally didn’t want to tell people that I was having this surgery. I just didnt want people talking shit or making assumptions about me being lazy, or about me not “wanting to lose weight enough to do it naturally” (yes, someone actually said that!!! I KNOW!), but then I reminded myself, “MY life, my story, how I want it!” And i did it. And i couldn’t be happier. Well, I’d be happier if I could have chocolate ice cream with chocoloate fudge, topped with Oreas and chocolate sauce! MMMMMM! Chocolate!