The Day We Absolutely Got It Wrong

It was yesterday, and although I have so much to say, and nothing to say all at the same time, I want to document the devastation that I felt announcing to my 8 year old daughter this morning, that Trump won.  I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look of disappointment on her face, eyes brimming with tears, the look of despair and desolation.  A face that was silently asking, “How could a bully win, Mama?  You told me there was no way!”  And for the first time as a parent, I carried the weight of our nations failure upon my shoulders as I stealthily tried to suppress tears of anguish, pain, fear and disappointment in order to protect my daughter, my sons, my wife, myself from the notion that maybe I DON’T have all the answers.  That maybe no matter how hard I try, I WON’T actually be able to protect them.  That my existence as part of this beautiful, multicultural, same-sex family could be literally pried from my finger tips as i’m left kicking and screaming and clawing and scratching to scrape together the few pieces of my life that I might have left.  And even though I know intellectually that this may be the worst case scenario (because you know, check and balances or whatever) and that this day might never come, the FEELING is so real!  The feeling is just so overwhelming and hope-sucking.  I’m left here feeling defeated.  Mainly because I don’t know how to muster up the words, let alone the courage to explain what is actually happening in our world, but also because every life lesson I have taught my daughter thus far (prepare for your tests, be a kind person, don’t tease or bully people, work together because teamwork makes the dream work, respect your body and other peoples bodies) has nullified between the hours of 4pm and 4am.

Friends, last night, as I sat and watched and cried and prayed, I realized that the only thing that will heal us, the only thing that will fix this divide, this fissure, is the same thing that has been tried and true the ONLY way to bring about ANY type of peace…and that, is LOVE.  It’s understanding, and patience, and tolerance, yes!  And good deeds, and generosity, and letting go of your ego.  But ultimately, its love.  Random acts of kindness, engagement in your communities.  Smiling and talking to random people, and really living in your truth.  The real truth, you know, the one of “treating/loving others as you would like to be treated/loved.”  And if there is anything that I have learned in the past few hours of 11/9/16 is that LOVE always wins!  That people will realize that this divide is REAL, and that there is a lot of anger and pain in this country.  There are a lot of hurt people and hurt and frustration can easily manifest in anger.  And i get that.  I totally get that.  But this man, he is not our answer.  Love may have lost this battle, but it will not lose the war.  Hate will never be how I live.  Having such hate in our hearts will now, and always be, the ONLY day, that we ABSOLUTELY got it wrong…

Love, friends…because Love, that’s real….THAT will change things…



11 thoughts on “The Day We Absolutely Got It Wrong

  1. I too am devastated. And even though I do not live in the usa, my is an American citizen who is being targeted by this man and his supporters. This is just not okay. And I desperately hope those checks and balances do their job and help protect those most vulnerable.
    Sending so much love and hope to your beautiful family. As you say, love will win the war! ❤

  2. As a teacher of US History in a majorly minority school, I worried all night about how I would have this conversation with my students. How do you tell them that their fears are valid and may ring true? Ah. My heart broke dozens of times today.

  3. The only way I’ve been able to avoid constant panic attacks is by reassuring myself that Trump is totally incompetent. Targeting our families will not be his priority, because in reality he likes gay people just fine and was pandering to the far right. Unfortunately he may encourage the INS to deport more people, so I can’t say much to alleviate the fears of immigrants.

  4. This is absolutely beautifully written and perfectly sums up exactly how a lot of the nation feels. I personally find some comfort in the fact that the majority of voters also voted against the hate rhetoric… even though it didn’t win the election, to me is says a great deal about where our nation stands and the progress we will continue to make. ❤️

  5. I have never felt parenthood as keenly as I did in this election. I hear you especially about the weight of the country on your shoulders. Mary is old enough to understand; I have to make Clementine understand and I hate being the one to shatter her innocence like this as I endeavor to instill compassion for others and the fire for justice into her life’s work for the months and years to come. I am constantly walking the line of how to say enough without saying too much. Exposing her to brokenness without breaking her. It is so much bigger than I realized.

    Hugs to your whole family.

  6. Here we are, days later and I still feel physically fatigued by the results of the election. I can completely relate to your description of sharing the sad news with Mary. When I told Gracie, she was so confused. Her immediate response was – “but he’s a bully Mama” and “you said he wouldn’t win”. She even went on to say, “he didn’t win – you’re joking on me!”. Even my 4 year old didn’t believe it and that says something. While I feel it helps my heart knowing that the majority of American’s did NOT vote for him, it still breaks my heart that so many did. I’m going to need lots of time to get over this one. 😦

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