It was yesterday, and although I have so much to say, and nothing to say all at the same time, I want to document the devastation that I felt announcing to my 8 year old daughter this morning, that Trump won. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look of disappointment on her face, eyes brimming with tears, the look of despair and desolation. A face that was silently asking, “How could a bully win, Mama? You told me there was no way!” And for the first time as a parent, I carried the weight of our nations failure upon my shoulders as I stealthily tried to suppress tears of anguish, pain, fear and disappointment in order to protect my daughter, my sons, my wife, myself from the notion that maybe I DON’T have all the answers. That maybe no matter how hard I try, I WON’T actually be able to protect them. That my existence as part of this beautiful, multicultural, same-sex family could be literally pried from my finger tips as i’m left kicking and screaming and clawing and scratching to scrape together the few pieces of my life that I might have left. And even though I know intellectually that this may be the worst case scenario (because you know, check and balances or whatever) and that this day might never come, the FEELING is so real! The feeling is just so overwhelming and hope-sucking. I’m left here feeling defeated. Mainly because I don’t know how to muster up the words, let alone the courage to explain what is actually happening in our world, but also because every life lesson I have taught my daughter thus far (prepare for your tests, be a kind person, don’t tease or bully people, work together because teamwork makes the dream work, respect your body and other peoples bodies) has nullified between the hours of 4pm and 4am.
Friends, last night, as I sat and watched and cried and prayed, I realized that the only thing that will heal us, the only thing that will fix this divide, this fissure, is the same thing that has been tried and true the ONLY way to bring about ANY type of peace…and that, is LOVE. It’s understanding, and patience, and tolerance, yes! And good deeds, and generosity, and letting go of your ego. But ultimately, its love. Random acts of kindness, engagement in your communities. Smiling and talking to random people, and really living in your truth. The real truth, you know, the one of “treating/loving others as you would like to be treated/loved.” And if there is anything that I have learned in the past few hours of 11/9/16 is that LOVE always wins! That people will realize that this divide is REAL, and that there is a lot of anger and pain in this country. There are a lot of hurt people and hurt and frustration can easily manifest in anger. And i get that. I totally get that. But this man, he is not our answer. Love may have lost this battle, but it will not lose the war. Hate will never be how I live. Having such hate in our hearts will now, and always be, the ONLY day, that we ABSOLUTELY got it wrong…
Love, friends…because Love, that’s real….THAT will change things…
~Sammie
thechroniclesofanonbellymama 