First, I wanted to say thank you to all of you and for all of your comments. I would love to comment back to each of you individually, but life is just so crazy right now…so thank you all for your love and support and for sending your prayers and positive energy our way. It is definitely being felt and totally working!!!
So this past week has gone by so quickly. The back and forth to the hospital, caring for our 3 other kids, and the holidays have just completely whooped us! Callie is back to work tomorrow and she is taking it even harder this time around. Not being able to spend a few hours with Austin Ryan at the hospital is very difficult for her, and getting about an hour a night after work just doesn’t seem like enough. I feel so terrible about it, and I wish that I could trade places with her or that I made 100k/year, but one thing that I’m learning through this experience is that life goes on outside of the 4 corners of the NICU, and we have to do our best to be present in it. It’s just so so hard.
Everyone is doing great otherwise. The boys are doing as great as ever, Mary has been challenging but she’s healthy and her report card was AMAZING so we’re doing something right, and aside from being sad about going back to work, Callie is doing awesome. Our relationship was going through a bit of a rough patch recently, but this little boy coming early has really put us in a place where we realize how much we need each other and how much we love each other and rely on each other for support. It’s been pretty eye opening. I found myself noticing how I was speaking to her and apologizing (GASP!) more often for being a little snot. I can be kind of mean when I’m stressed, under pressure, or convinced that I’m right. I have never been so thankful to have her or so appreciative to have someone who understands me and how I function. She truly is my better half and I have never been so in love.
Austin Ryan really is something else! This kid is unbelievable and such a little fighter! At 9 days old (yesterday) he was off the CPAP completely, since he’s been breathing on his own since day 2. He’s been tolerating all of his feeds, and went from 10cc’s of breast milk to 16cc’s in one day, and then from 16cc’s to 25cc’s in one more day! Since he’s getting everything he needs from mama’s milk, they don’t need to give him intralipids through his IV (I’m pumping every 2-3 hours and getting about 30cc’s [a little more than an ounce] each pump!). This, friends, was the greatest Christmas present we could have gotten. For Callie’s birthday yesterday, the best gift?! This…
Mamá got some snuggles too!
Things are going very well, and Austin amazes us each and every day with his will power and strength. My little Chispa will be home before we know it, and we can’t wait!