14 weeks (and +3 days at this point) and things seem be to be going very smoothly. I’m starting to get little bursts of energy back, but I still spend a lot of my free time (whatever that means when you have a wife and 3 kids) sleeping. We went out on the boat on Saturday and I slept for the majority of the day after only swimming for about an hour or so. I dried off a little, went into the cabin, and took a 2.5 hour nap with Levi…then he woke up, Noah promptly went down, and I slept another hour and 15 minutes with him. Sleep is just…sooooo good!
How I’m Feeling this Week: Much much more like my normal self. Having what my doctor calls “growing pains”, which is just a ton of weird cramping, and stretching. My assumption is that Biscuit is just in there growing. I’ve also been a bit less cranky and grump than I have been the past few months. I’m pretty sure Callie appreciates that, as I’ve been kinda, sorta mean to her lately. It’s been pretty bad. But I’ve also done my fair share of apologizing, although, probably not as much as I should have. Definitely not as much as I should have. I’m also feeling like I need lots of affection lately, and I feel like I need to be able to sleep naked more, but when you have a 7 year old at home, that isn’t “your kid”, it’s hard to be able to do that. And having to sleep with the door open so we can hear the boys next room over (thanks the LAWD they are finally in their own room and we can close up this damn pack-and-play that has been monopolizing the space in our already tiny room) makes it all the more difficult. But this week, I’m feeling pretty alright.
How Big is Biscuit: About the size of stress ball (should actually go and buy one of these) or roughly the size of a lemon. About 4 inches long, which still just seems so incredibly tiny to me. We’re talking about the size of the palm of my hand! That’s wild! Baby is also weighing about 1.5oz. Also, Biscuit is probably sporting some super soft lanugo, and wiggling up a storm, even though I can’t feel it yet.
Baby Bump News?: I was told by several people this weekend that my belly is definitely starting to show. I can tell you, my pants are starting to feel it. I can no longer close a SINGLE pair of my pre-pregnancy pants with the exception of a pair of brown chino pants that I got a size too big. Otherwise, I have been wearing all of work pants and all of my shorts with no top button and just a belt to hold them up on my waist. I believe, I will have to go take a trip to the store and try and score some OK maternity pants that don’t hug too much in places that I’m not comfortable with them clinging. Also, you could totally tell that the bump is appearing when I wear my Speedo swimsuit. It’s crazy to actually see my body changing, and then to feel it when I lay in bed at night. Something tells me that I’m gonna get pretty big during this pregnancy.
Sleep: I’ve been having these ridiculously weird (and mostly scary) dreams. About a week ago, I woke up and asked Callie if I had been in jail. In a haze, she answered, “No..why would you ask that?!” In my dream, I had been thrown into jail for fighting at a bar, i spent what felt like an eternity in there, but it was really only 3 days. My friends Marco, Nikki, and T had come to visit me and they kept looking at me weird as if they new something but I didn’t. My sister came to pick me up from jail, but I wouldn’t leave until I said good-bye to all the friends I had made, and the warden made me go through like some weird obstacle course to get out. Then I walked out into the parking lot and all my friend and my siblings were waiting there with their swimsuits and beach chairs. We were about to get into the car, and my water broke, but I wasn’t visibly pregnant. In my dream I woke up, and was in a room that I used to live in with black lights and neon wall coverings. I asked Callie if I had been to jail, and she said, “Of course you did honey, remember?!” So I started asking her what happened. She said that I got into a fight and got locked up. Then I told her that it was weird becasue I hadn;t felt the baby move, and she gave me a look of horror like she was waiting for me to figure it out and I finally did. “You don’t remember much do you? You must have blocked it out because of all of the trauma”. I knew right away that there was no more baby. And I started screaming at the top of my lungs, “NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, YOU’re LYING! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO”…it was terrible!! And then I woke up, panting and sweating and asking her if I had been to jail. It was so strange! So I whimpered on and off the whole night, while Callie held me and kept telling me it was ok.
Then there was a zombie dream, where my whole entire family was in a house that we had found while it was empty, and we could see the river from out window, and there were people floating all over the place in the river, and the doors stopped locking, and the windows had no locks on them at all, and there were mattresses and cushions blocking out all the light and hiding us from the walkers outside. Then heard a baby cry and realized that it was Noah in the other room, and I wasn’t sure if he was getting eaten or if he just wanted his moms, so Callie ran out and I went behind her with Levi in on hand and a lamp in the other to hit a zombie in the head if I had to. She grabbed Noah, and brought him back into the room, and then I realized that the walkers had heard him crying and were making their way up the stairs, and we had no freaking locks! So I start freaking out and silently crying, holding onto my family, as the door starts to rattle! I wake up, covered in sweat, holding into Callie for dear life!
Last night, I was being tortured as a sex slave, for none other than Rumpelstiltskin from Once Upon a Time…seriously, it was super weird! And no one would believe me when I escaped, so he found me again, put electric nipple clamps on me, and would constantly taze me. It was just horrible! And every time i cried out in pain, it would be turned up a notch. There was more, but I can’t really remember it, but I was super scared to go back to sleep because I didn’t want the dream to pick up where it left off, like it has so many of these past nights. I wish these dreams would just chill out for a little bit!
Food Loves/Hates: Give me all the orange juice in the world! Please!!! I have gone through about 3 gallons of orange juice in a week. I can’t get enough. Also, please, i’m begging you, keep that damn salad away from me!
Symptoms: Just weird dreams, some weird cramping, and debilitating gas. I get what Callie’s family calls “Gas in your ass”, you know, when you feel like your taint is being sliced with a box cutter…that kinda gas. I’m gonna have to get something for how terrible it’s been and to help me expel some of this god awful air!
Next Scan: My next scan is scheduled for October 8th, for the anatomy scan. I also have an appointment on September 24th (possible ultrasound) to check my blood pressure and to do a non-fasting glucose test to see where my sugar is since it’s been pretty broderline for the past 2 years or so. At my scan this past Thursday (the NT Scan), Biscuit (13w6d) was measuring 2 days ahead at 14w1d, and was just as cute as ever, waving at moms and at Wita (who shed some tears watching baby moving on the screen), but she was too busy being busy to let them get a great measurement. After jiggling her around a little bit we got a good measurement. Biscuit measure 1.6, which is good, but we haven’t gotten the results from the blood work yet, but I’m sure it’s all gonna be fine. So far, everything looks good! And (she) sorta looks like she has Levi’s profile. Cutie!
Sex: I’ll take it! It’s been pretty consistent these past few weeks…now that I have a little more energy, I hope it pics up in frequency.
Overall Feelings: A bit overwhelmed with the idea of buying maternity clothes. I’m excited to be possibly showing sooner than I expected, but also devastated that there isn’t anything cool and my style to wear. It’s still 90 degrees here in NY, which is about 10-15 degrees above normal, and I’m not sure how much longer I can get away with wearing some of the stuff I’m wearing. I’m one of those people who has been the same size for over 10 years (36×30 pants, and L shirt, XL sweater) so I go into the store, grab what I need, and get the hell out. Shopping takes me all of 30 minutes for a whole season! Knowing that I’ll have to go into a store, probably not find ANYTHING that I like, and have to settle, just has me dreading having to go! But I’m excited about pre-natal yoga at the Destination Maternity, so I’ll take that! Maybe I should shop after yoga, and go in with a clear mind and an open heart.
Something I Didn’t Expect: Being excited about my body changing. With all of my ideas about gender expression, and my image, and being overweight, I didn’t think that I would be so excited to see a bump growing under all this chub and over-sized clothes. When Callie and I lay in bed, she puts her hand on my belly and talks to Biscuit and I wonder if she thought I was that adorable and cute when I did it to her. I didn’t expect to take daily “bumpie” and then scroll through my phone analyzing and scrutinizing the tiniest of changes. Soon enough, I’ll post a bump pic, just not ready to put myself out there yet. I at least need to get myself some maternity pants…
Also, these guys…