Throwback Thursday




Yup, I’ve always had them, and they have always been there.  Growing up, I always hated my curly hair.  I was the only one in my family whose hair was in tight little springs.  I wanted pin straight hair like my mother and sisters.  I wanted to be able to put a pretty ribbon in it, or wear it in pigtails without it looking like two Brillo pads fixed to the side of my noggin.  I wanted to be able to wear a headband and not have it get lost in the rat’s nest that rested at the top of my head.  To make matters worse, my mom had NO CLUE what to do with kinky hair like mine, so most of the time she tried her hardest to comb it out (I’ve been hit upside the head with a brush a couple of times in my life) and hoped for the best.  I remember getting my hair straightened for the first time (thanks to a relaxer that I will NEVER EVER do again!), and standing in front of the mirror for hours on end just brushing it, flipping it, swinging it back and forth.

curls curls



My hair was so tangled and matted when I was younger, that instead of combing treatment through my waist length hair after my cousin in Puerto Rico gave me head lice, my mother took scissors to my 6-year-old head, and cut it all off!Then she took my grandfathers electric hair cutting razor and took a #5 to my head.  Talk abouttraumatizing!  I cried for days and felt so naked in the hot PuertoRican sun.  My poor head burned so bad that year, I swear I’m still picking dead skin out of it 25 years later. I was made fun of constantly for it, and people would throw things in my hair and snicker about it when I would shake my head out later and erasers, gum wrappers, pencil shavings, and even the occasional gummy bear would fall out if it.  I punched someone in the face for it once, and that was the end of that!

As I grew up, maybe around 17-18, I started to realize how lucky I was to have such interesting and uncommon hair.  I started to love my curls.  I let my hair fall out of my trusted bushy ponytail as I began to read things and learn to take care of it.  This was still in the age of dial-up internet, and I would wait sometimes 10 minutes for a page to load so I could find out cool things to do with egg whites and olive oil and mayonnaise to make my hair super shiny and super healthy.  Over the last 10-12 years or so, I have done some pretty outrageous stuff to my hair.  I’ve died it orange.  I’ve had just the bottom half a bright candy apple red.  I’ve had it as short as an inch all around.  I’ve worn it in an Afro, and cornrows and have even had a shape-up/line-up/fade at one point.  I love twisting it around my finger, and letting the wind whip through it while I drive with my windows open.  I love how easy it is to do.  I wash it, throw some leave in conditioner in it, shake it out and walk out the door.  And lets not even talk about how excited I get about beach hair!  It’s truly THE BEST!

redshortcut  braidafro

With the idea of carrying one of Callie’s eggs so that our children are biologically related comes a little bit of sadness sometimes (not often enough to change my mind though) because I won’t see my brown eyes (not that Levi’s blue ones or Noah’s hazel ones aren’t AMAZING to get lost in), or my gap toothed smile (something else that took me a while to embrace and grow into), but especially this curly, kinky, outrageous, matted, spiral, cork screw of a hot mess mop on their head.  Who knows!?!  Maybe our next “little” will be a girl, and they’ll have Callie’s banana curls, which is what our kids would have looked like had we been able to biologically take a piece of me and a piece of her.  Either way, these curls are EVERYTHING and they give me life and add so much to my personality. I mean, I AM pretty wild and crazy, so why shouldn’t my hair be! Well played Universe, well played…


28 thoughts on “Throwback Thursday

  1. You are so beautiful, and have amazing hair! I have curly hair too, though mine is more wavy than ringlets, and hated my hair all through my youth. It wasn’t until I turned about 25 that I stopped straightening it. I also dreaded my hair three times, and loved it, as it still kept the fullness and volume of my curly hair, but was very low maintenance. My hair is still in dreads, and I’m the happiest that I’ve ever been with it. I once tried to have my hair permed into tight little curls like yours, because I love them so much. Yes, it’s sad not to get to see your genes passed on to your kids. DW struggles with this a lot. I guess we just focus on the impact that we can make on our kids, which is more significant of a contribution.

    • Thank you friend. I LOVE your dreads! I think I told you before that I wanted to lock my hair, but it just wouldn’t! Being comfortable with your hair is just one of those things…It really is sad not seeing those things that make you part of your family not passed on…like the gap thing…of my 5 aunts and uncles 3 of them have gaps…I have a ton of first cousins (36 to be exact) and I would say about half of us have gaps, including my sister (and even Mary has one so she fits right in!). Hopefully, the genetics Gods will sprinkle some “gap” on some of those frozen embryos!

      • Wow! That is a strong genetic trait in your family. Yeah, we struggle with the fact that our kids won’t be genetically both of ours too. DW had a good cry about it yesterday and the day before. I just try to remind her that in the end, you’re still a mother, but I know it doesn’t make it better, so I’m just trying to let her grieve that loss. Cute that Mary has the gap too.

      • Oh, I’ve had my fair share of cries, but believe me, it all melts away once you hold those babies…and I see things in them that we’re like, “Totally Sammie!”, even this little…temperament, facial expressions, the way they sleep. It’s funny how much of it really is nurture…And that is all you can do for her. Callie did the same thing to me, and she kept me super involved in EVERYTHING so that I FELT like that other parent and didn’t just think it…

      • Yup, that’s what I’m trying to do too. It’s amazing how much influence you can have on who they become. I hope they also develop your talent for storytelling and your big heart.

  2. I LOVE your hair. Even before reading this, I felt like it matched your personality -beautiful, bouncy, radiant, and ‘out there’, if that makes sense! It just fits you!

    Reading about your mama shaving your hair off actually broke my heart for little you! But as a mom, I can totally see why she did that instead of the alternative, lol.

    • Aww, thank you! I wish I had a picture from right before the cut…it seriously was dangerous to be around my head! My sister had straight hair so my mom always tried to do to my hair what she could do with my sisters….ummm, no way Lady!

  3. Your hair is absolutely incredible. Those pictures of you when you were young–I die. I LOVE curly haired kids. Plus, your hair totally suits you!

  4. Thanks for sharing the pictures, I adore your hair! I have the exact opposite problem – bone straight hair with no hope of ever wearing it curly. I wanted curly hair so bad as a kid that against their hairdressers recommendation I saved up all my pennies to get a perm – the very next day it fell out. I totally cried and was just devastated that I was without curls and broke.

  5. What a great post! I love all the different stages of your hair. They probably matched what was going on in your life at the time. My wife has very curly hair and the ethnicity of the donor we used for our 3-year-old and the twins set them up for crazy hair as well. So far Judge has massive curls like his mommy but very soft and manageable. I am praying that the twins end up with the same texture. We full on expect to have children who want to grow afros at some point with those curls.

  6. Love this. You and Kate are so similar! She hated her curls for years and just slicked them back with gel into a pony. Then she met me and I asked her to wear it down cause I love curls. We straightened it really good once and then her hair never got super curly again, she suddenly freaked out. Chopped it off and let it regrow. Now she loves her curls and entertains their madness, which is perfect cause she’s crazy too lol. I never knew you were going to carry one of Callie’s eggs! How exciting, yet I know it must be bittersweet as well. XO

  7. I too struggled with my curls all my life- I really didn’t fully embrace them until 2 years ago when I finally threw down the money ($65- I was used to super cheap cuts) and went to a Deva Curl stylist. LIFE CHANGING! I haven’t turned back from the cuts or the products. Amazing!

  8. Oh man I can so relate! I used to have a blog about my curly hair- no joke! I hated it for so long and having a white mother who didn’t know what to do with it made things even worse. Growing up in the south people often tried to put me in boxes based on my hair. White girls made fun of my wild curls and black girls said I wasn’t black enough because it was “good hair”. I had a hard time embracing it until my 20’s. Now I love it and was hoping our kiddos would get some too which is part of why we chose the donor we did but no such luck! We are on the fence about another one which makes sad because I thought we would use my eggs the second time around (before we had twins) and have a curly girl to add to our brood. love this post and love you! ❤

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