We are gearing up!  These babies are coming any day now, and things need to get done!  We finally finished all of our laundry, put together the stroller, got the car seats ready, fully finished the nursery with the exception of putting pictures in the frames and the crib skirts, we “Christmased” the house, put up our tree, ordered all of Mary’s gifts, got the boys “take home” outfits together and have discussed (not actually started) putting together our hospital bags.  We figured out Mary’s respite care, which we thought would have been a lot more difficult than it actually was.  With Mary being in school, we needed a family that would be able to drop her off and pick her up from school (we live 2 blocks from the school and unless you live further than 1 mile away, they don’t provide transportation), comply with her therapy and parent visit schedule and be able to accommodate that, and also who would be able to take her in for at least 2 weeks in case the boys are born early and they have to stay in the NICU.  Unfortunately, even though our parents and some of our friends are cleared through the state to watch Mary, she can’t stay at their home because they aren’t a certified foster home, which really blows because she has to go with a new family in a new setting with new rules in the mean time.  We’re going to write out her schedule, all of her activities, shower and bed time rituals, rules we have in place and that she has to follow, and phone numbers for our parents and siblings so that they can always help out if Mary is having a meltdown or anything like that and can come and keep her company.  We just hate to have to transition her to staying with another foster family, but the state makes it impossible!

Callie has been feeling increasingly uncomfortable these past couple of days.  She keeps having dreams about being in the labor and delivery unit pushing babies out.  She’s going to the bathroom every 15-20 minutes (on a good day!).  Her vaginal area has been throbbing from the pressure of carrying 8lbs+ worth of babies. Her contractions have been incessant, and she can barely move or stand without having one.  They have been lasting significantly longer too.  Somewhere in the 30-40 second range.  They still aren’t coming more than 4-5 times an hour (unless of course she moves, but that’s expected at this point).  A few weeks ago, she insisted that the boys wouldn’t come until mid January, but lately (the past week or so) she feels that they will be here soon…very soon.  And I must say, that it’s starting to scare me!  Excitement is still the number one emotion for me right now, but the fear is slowly sinking in.  The fear of being able to handle 2 infants at once. The fear of screwing something up so devastatingly that there is no coming back from it.  The fear of being inadequate as a mom.  The fear of coming out again and again and again and having to explain our family to people who don’t get it. The fear of never wanting to go back to work and getting depressed about leaving my wife and kids at home to fend for themselves. The fear of me never being able to produce milk after all these months of trying to induce lactation.  The fear of something going terribly wrong.  So many fears are suddenly rearing their ugly heads!   I’m doing my best to stay calm and remember that we can totally do this and we are made to be moms! I just can’t help but to get totally freaked out and have a little anxiety about these babies.  I suppose it’s all normal.

Tomorrow we hit another milestone in our pregnancy.  32 weeks!  At this point in Callie’s twin pregnancy, every 2 weeks is a huge accomplishment when trying to keep the boys safe.  When we hit 30 weeks we thanked our luck stars!  Now that we are hitting 32, we can take a little bit of a breath.  Once we hit 34 week (God willing!) we can breathe a sigh of relief.  But really, it’s more like one day at a time now, and not so much one week at a time.  Callie amazes me everyday with the work that she does to keep Levi and Noah safe.  She stays off of her feet to ensure that they are comfy and cozy and still growing.  She makes hundreds of phone calls a day to insurance companies, doctors, DSS for foster care stuff, helps Mary with homework and makes sure that she is showered before dinner when I get home, and deals with a multitude of other things, all from the comfortability (that’s debatable for her) of our couch.  Watching her everyday, even if she’s been wearing the same t-shirt for the past 3 days (just kidding Babeski!), continues to grow my love and admiration for her.  She was born to be a mom, and I’m so lucky to be able to share my life with her…










33 thoughts on “Preparation

  1. The outfits are adorable! And you guys are going to be awesome. Nothing to worry about. 🙂

    Just a gentle reminder to get those car seats checked by the experts. Over 75% of car seats are installed improperly, which is a huge problem. Gotta keep those boys safe! 🙂

    Here’s to every extra day of growing that can be snuck in before they come, and hopefully keeping Callie remotely comfortable! We just took our birthing class and a lot of the coping skills are helpful, but I can imagine that most of the positions are even more difficult with twins! Have you been trying out heat or cold or massage? This would be a great time for us to have the ability to turn off gravity and just let her float. 🙂

    I would say I can’t wait, but they need to stay in there longer, so I’ll keep waiting and rooting for you all!

    • I definitely have to get better about giving her little massages here and there, and she has found some postions that are more comfortable than others, but she doesnt stay in them for very long because she is peeing every 15 minutes, and when she comes back she can’t find it! Poor thing!

  2. You’re absolutely right that these fears are normal. ALL of us moms have these (or similar) thoughts in the months and weeks leading up to the births of our children. You guys will do amazingly!

    Their take-home outfits are adorable, by the way! Who knit those little hats?

  3. 8lbs of baby already! MOLY! What a champ! Trust me we are also riding the anxiety roller coaster and we are only expecting one baby. The unknown can be really terrifying. I’m just making peace with the fact that likely nothing will go as planned – but we can do it! You’re both going to be amazing, loving parents (you already are!) I’m thinking of you all the time because we are like exactly on track. Can’t wait to see your little nuggets! Hang in there 🙂

  4. Oh my god, those outfits are the best ever. Just based upon the prep work to have Mary handled I’d say you two are more than ready! Good luck. I am so damn excited to see these two. 🙂

  5. Those outfits are incredibly cute! You guys are in the last stretch. I can’t imagine how nervous and scary it is for you guys and Mary. Things will work out great tho. So pack your bags! Just in case you may have Christmas babies ! 😊

  6. Oh swipply, your anxiety and doubts ARE normal. But I just wanna say that it’s because you ARE a good mother is the reason why you feel like that. If you really didn’t care or think it was important, you wouldn’t be so worried about it. You will just take it one day at a time, have your mom and Christina’s mom on speed dial, and have patience and pray! Lol. I know you can do this! It will come naturally! I love those take home outfits by the way! Love you guys! Be strong! I’m confident in you guys!!

  7. Callie is doing such a great job. X
    I remember being so scared, scared of everything but somehow we just get it done. You will all be together soon enough and all the fear will be replaced with squishy love.
    Such beautiful outfits. Why do babies get all the cool things to wear? LOL xxx

  8. I’m going to confess that I did not actually read your post today. I just couldn’t do it. I’m sure you understand. But I did pause long enough to look at your Christmas tree, which is beautiful! I am so in need of a Christmas tree today. I’m hoping Catch will let us get ours this weekend. Love to all of you!

    • I completely understand honey…::sigh::…my heart is breaking for you…when i read your post, my heart fell to the pit of my stomach…i just, i wish there were a way to teleport over to you, and just sit with you, outside somewhere, and just, i don’t your friend that’s physically there…just know I am, ok?!

  9. You two will be wonderful mothers. (Really, you already are for Mary and Laney when she was with you.) I can’t believe they’re almost here!!! I know it’s hard not to panic as it is feeling close, but girls, YOU GOT THIS. Inevitably, unexpected things might come up, but I have faith that you two smart cookies have good problem-solving skills. Keep cookin’ babies, you’ll need the chubb as it’s cold outside!

    • Thanks hun…and it’s freeeeeeeeezing out there…i don’t think they have a problem with the chubb part! Let’s see how much they weigh at next weeks u/s. Probably close to 5lbs! I have a feeling we’re gonna have 7-8lb babies…all of the twins in Callie’s family (3 sets) were all born on or past their due date (one set was 2 weeks past!!!) and all weighed no less than 7 lbs…Callie herself as small as she is (5′ 2″ 120lbs at her heaviest) weighed in at a whopping 8lbs 12oz! So our bets are on big babies!

      • Damn! Better get the ice packs ready for Callie’s lady parts. Big babies run in my family as well- I was almost 9lbs, and my sister was a whopping 11lbs! My cousins were all around 9 or 10lbs too.

  10. You two will be great moms. All your fears are normal and natural. As for the lactation, have you tried going on birth control. I’ve heard that’s the best way to induce cause it tricks you body into thinking its pregnant so when you go of it and start to breastfeed or pump your body thinks it’s just given birth. The tree, stroller and outfits are so so cute!!! Your getting so close!!

    • I’m on birth control now. My LC put me on it. I’ve been taking it for 2 months now, but I got my period, and with a vengance! I’ve had it for 21 days now…and like super heavy like its day 2-3 for the past 15 days or so, so i’m not sure how effective it’s going to be at tricking my body that it’s pregnant. I have an appointment with my LC again on Friday, so lets see what’s going on. I’m also still taking the domperidone. I will admit, by breasts are fuller and hurt like hell, but we’ll just have to see what happens. I’ll take the pill for another 3 weeks and start pumping, unless the boys come, otherwise, they’ll just latch on and we’ll try the nursing system and see if i produce any milk. If not hen i’ll just use the nursing system indefinitely…what else are we gonna do, ya know!?

      • Your definately trying your hardest, good job on that. I still cant get my wife to grasp the concept and i feel like its so benificial in so many ways. Hoping once im pregnant she will feel differently. Ill be interested to know what your LC has to say about the pill.

  11. Yay! Almost there!!!! Keep baking little dudes! I remember the feelings of anxiety all to well-they don’t go away and when they come you’ll question yourself many more times but when you see those babies smile and sleep and hear them coo, you’ll know you’re doing something right 😉 so pumped for you!

    • Thanks! I know we’ll manage, and I know that more questions and doubts will arise, but you’re right! We’ll figure it out, and we’ll keep on trucking, and seeing those boys will be a constant reminder that we are good, and we are doing out best! Hugs and kisses to you little guys!

  12. I just adore those outfits and can’t wait to see your boys in them!! I’m glad you are releasing your fears into the blogasphere and know that we hear you and support you! There are going to be many times that you question your ability to do and be everything and be everywhere, but in the end it all works out and is the best part of our journey! Have faith that you and Callie will be the most wonderful parents that these two boys could ever have and know that we all have your back!!!! Sending lots of love and light your way!!!

  13. So exciting…and terrifying! Every mom (carrying or not) has these moments of freak outs and fears. I literally had a panic attack and had to sit down with my head between my legs so I wouldn’t pass out when my wife told me (from the bathroom) that her water had broken. And I’m usually calm, cool, and collected! Just take a deep breath and trust in yourself. You’ll be just fine!

  14. I’m pretty sure those outfits are the cutest things I have ever seen! Holy smokes, I can’t wait to see those boys in them! Looks like things are moving along, give Callie hugs from me, I can’t imagine her being as uncomfortable as she is – I know I had ONE in there and I was Sooooo uncomfortable! Bless her for the journey and I sure hope she’s less uncomfortable soon!

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