Tuesday afternoon, 1:47pm, my cell phone rings.
I don’t recognize the number, so I let it go to voicemail. About a minute later after hearing the message, I was ringing Callie at work as quickly as I could. She was busy but I couldn’t wait. “I need to speak to her NOW!” So her assistant found her in a flash and before you know it, I was returning the phone call to our county’s CPS offices.
A beautiful, 9 month old little girl! As if our lives couldn’t get any crazier (and richer at the same time)! How could we say no?! Well, we could have, but why? This baby, who has no fault in any of the shenanigans that her parents have put her through (domestic violence, mental health and drug abuse issues), needs a home full of love and a nurturing environment. We can totally do that! So we will! We went from a family of 2, to a family of 4 in less than 6 months. And in less than 4 months we will become a family of 6, if Mary and our new little addition, Laney, end up staying with us for a little longer.
Will it be overwhelming? Of COURSE it will! Will it be scary? Petrifying! Will we be on the verge of loosing our minds? Every damn day! Can we handle it? You bet your sweet ass we can! We’re super moms, and we have each other, and love, beautiful families and amazing friends. We have everything we need to know that we can do this and make a difference. A handful of people think we are crazy, and that’s fine, because well, maybe we are, but at the end of the day, we know what we are doing is right, no matter how crazy it is. Life just got a whole lot more interesting…
Whoa and holy shit and wow! I am slightly freaking (in a good way) about the possibility of twins and you have twins in their way and will have a 6 year old and an under 1?! Blimey. No more hiking for you lady!
LOL! I’m gonna have to bring one more person besides me and Marco to put these babies in packs, cuz I’m gonna need my hiking if i have to raise 3 infants in one shot! Wanna come? LOL! It’s gonna be complete madness, but we’ll be so happy, so it’s all worth it!
WOW! Your home is going to have your head spinning in a few months, but your heart will be full, and that’s what matters most! Can’t wait to hear more about this baby girl.
You aren’t kidding! It’s gonna be nuts, but so worth it! And so far baby Laney is AWESOME!! Slept the whole night in her crib! She’s such a smiley girl. She’s got our hearts already…
That is so wonderful you open your home and hearts to these children. Are the children you are fostering considered reunification (w/ the ultimate goal of returning to parents or kin?) or is the state looking to terminate parental rights so the children can be adopted?
Well, technically we foster to adopt, but both kids we have now are supposed to be reunified. Mary starts therapy/parenting classes with her mom this coming week, so they are getting closer to sending her home, but not before she gets transferred a state over to live with her aunt (ugh!) in the meantime. And little Laney is such a new case that we don’t really know yet. But technically, yes, the goal is almost always reunification.
Gosh that’s got to be so hard. I used to do counseling with children who had been abused, so it wasn’t too uncommon to work with children in care. I have so much admiration for parents who foster. It’s so hard to see the ups and downs the children go through with their biological families and be powerless to the inconsistencies and sometimes emotional manipulation within those families. I hope Mary does well in the therapy with her mom, and all the change doesn’t cause her too much disruptions. Social Services often does the absolute worst/most traumatic things such as move children around often.
Honestly, the most frustrating thing about the whole “system” is that they give the biological parents so many rights! If the child is thriving in the home that they were placed in, why in the hell would you uproot them AGAIN cause more trauma and ability to form significant attachments/relationships because the parents said so. Why should I have to ask permission to travel with a child in my care that was TAKEN AWAY from the parents?! I just don’t get it. I mean, granted if I was the biological parent, I would want some say in what happens to/with my child, but do I deserve it!? Not if my kids get taken away!!!! And it’s difficult watching her transitions and her emotions go up and down after visits. I know it’s traumatizing for her, but such is the system! Parents get all the rights. We hope the therapy goes well too and doesn’t disrupt her life too much. Seeing her mom once biweekly is tough enough!
Yeah, the system is limited by the laws and in MD, I’ve seen how hard it is to get legislation passed to limit the rights of abusive parents. Lawmakers don’t really know about trauma, child development, or psychology. It is a fine line though, because many parents do work hard to rehabilitate themselves for their kids. But everything you’ve said is why I admire foster parents so much, it is a tough role.
You are crazy amazing people is what you are! So many feels.
I second this!
Thanks ladies! It’s gonna be nuts, but we’re totally gonna make this happen!
Holy crap. Holy crap. (After I have my morning coffee), I will be really excited for you both. Haha – I can’t believe it. I love that your family is expanding in this way. Looking forward to hearing about the crazy adventures ahead. 🙂
LOL! Thanks! It really is gonna be super crazy, but totally worth it! Looks like i’ll have to start drinking coffee to make it through a day!
You are crazy! And also amazing. Congratulations on your newest family member!
I think this is amazing. We can’t foster or adopt in our state because we’re evil lesbians, but I wish desperately that we could. (Though with a three year old, a one year old, and two new babies on the way, I honestly have no idea where I would even PUT them. Details, details.) Congrats on expanding your family, even if only temporary. It’s a truly wonderful thing you guys are doing over there.
You can’t even foster? That’s ludicrous! But yeah, your family sounds like mine! LOL! Thanks for your kind words…it’s not gonna be easy, but the things that are worth it usually arent…
By the way, based on your apartment-hunting post, I am pretty sure that we live in the same town, or at least extremely nearby. I think you can see my email address through the comment moderation – send me a note and we can figure it out.
We just might! Shoot me and email! Thechroniclesofanonbellymama@gmail.com. If you live in Westchester, then chances are we arent more than 20 minutes from each other either way! That’s exciting!!!!! And thanks for the kind words!
I am in awe of you both right now. That is absolutely amazing. I hope the transition goes smoothly for all of you.
So far so good! She slept all night for Callie and then when i got home at 5:30am she was ready for a bottle, so i brought her in bed, fed her and we both slept till Callie got her ready for daycare at 7:30am. Heard shes the best baby in class!
Holy smokes! Your news definitely just gave me goosebumps and made me tear up. What excitement for all of you!
Aww, thank you! It’s all still sinking in! But it’s exciting. Good practice for the twins…
Oh my best Swipply, we say your are “crazy” but in the good way. Seems like a lot but it will have the “spinning top” effect. All though so much is going on, you guys are standing up and not topplingn over. And it’s like the more that goes on the faster you spin and in turn stand up even straighter. Ya know what I mean? You guys must be beaming with pride and you should be. I love you guys!
My best Marco, I just love you! WE just love you!!! It always gets a lttle crazy, but we manage well enough, especially cuz we have amazing friends like you!
Bradgelina has nothing on you guys! How exciting and terrifying at the same time-should life feel any other way?!
LOL!!!! If it’s not terrifying then are you really living? Right?!?!
You are super moms! You guys will be exactly what this little one needs!
Awww, thank you! We’ll do our very best!
That’s crazily amazing! Congratulations on the new family member
Thanks 🙂 Should be interesting to say the least!
YES! Good for you! I’m the type who would say yes (and know it was crazy) too! This will be a real challenge, and really rewarding!
I thought callie was gonna say i was crazy for wanting another one, but she was like, “DID YOU TELL HER YES!?!?” LOL! But we’re looking forward to this tiny human at home with us…
Holy moley! When it rains, it pours! Congrats girls. That baby is so lucky to have you two.
Thank you! We’re lucky to have her!
Your house is goning to be a a mad house 🙂 I’m the best possible way! Sounds perfect 🙂
It was already a mad house with just Callie and I! Lol! They’ve definitely toned us down a bit…it’s really all a perfect fit…we love the heck outta those girls…
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