17 Weeks and a Bunch of Other Stuff

So today marks 17 weeks.  My Sweet Pea and Pumpkin are still growing in there.  They will start filling out their skin this week with tons of chubby baby fat for Mamá to squeeze and love on in a few more months.  Their cartilage is starting to turn into bone so their little kicks and punches should be getting stronger and more pronounced in the coming weeks, The developmental milestone I have been waiting for the most finally here!!! My babies are sensitive to sound and can start to recognize my voice. As a gift to our babies (And Callie, I suppose), I ordered a “Sound Beginnings” belly band with headphones so the babies can listen to music.  While I was waiting for the package to arrive this past week, I thought I would make some recordings of my voice since I will be away this weekend and Cal’s can play them for the babies.  Before you know it, I was downloading karaoke versions of songs, paying a few bucks for a voice recording app on my Mac, and spending hours recording (and rerecording) songs that I plan to sing to them once they are born.  That way they get to hear music AND my voice.  I’m a pretty decent singer, () so I figured, why not!? Callie loved it and got all teary eyed.  5 out of 21 songs are already down!
1) Our House – Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
2) I’m Yours – Jason Mraz
3) Just The Way You Are – Bruno Mars
4) Colors – Amos Lee
5) I can’t tell you because it will give away the gender!

17 Weeks and still looking HOT!

Today was also my first nieces 7th birthday.  I remember the day she was born so clearly.  I was at work, wearing thermals and a respirator, covered from head to toe in baby powder, insulating a new structure in 103 degree weather.  2 hours in and half a gallon of water later, my mom calls me and said, “She’s coming!!!” I told my boss, ran outta there, and drove 80mph on the narrowest, windiest highway in our area.  I made it about a 3 minutes after she was born.  I was in love! The second that I held her she became “my Lady”.  The Lady is the best thing to ever happen to our family.  She somehow managed to bring together all the severed ends and put them in one huge knot.  Our relationship is a special one. She still loves sitting in my lap when she’s tired so I can rub her back, pulling the curls of my “springy” hair, and just lounging at my parents house and reading books together.  I hope that my relationship with my new little niece (her sister is due 11/14) will be just as special.  She’ll always be the first granddaughter, the first niece, and my best Lady.

The Lady and I

Time flies!

 

My Sister and My Love, both expecting, both gorgeous!

Tomorrow morning, my best friend Marco and I will be taking what might just be my last hiking trip in a while.  Well, at least my last overnight hiking trip in a while.  Realizing that, made me really understand that in a few months everything, my entire life, will be different.  Despite how hard I fight it and how much I tried to convince myself that things were going to stay relatively the same, I now know, that is not going to be the case.  Callie has been really understanding about me needing to take this small little overnight camping/hiking trip with Marco.  She had a slight meltdown earlier while we were cooking dinner.  She has 2 birthday parties to attend on Saturday for Mary, has to run a few errands, visit with her family , and I wont be there to help her. I feel guilty leaving her but I REALLY need this.  With her being pregnant, I have been carrying most of the weight of this family. Believe me, I’m not complaining, but it does get overwhelming sometimes. I do the bulk of the cooking, cleaning, organizing, errands, taking care of Mary, laundry, and whole ton of other things.  I need a break from life for a day and need to have a real deep heart to heart with my best friend.  So we hugged/kissed it out, and I am 6 hours from a 5 hour drive to hike NY’s highest peak, Mount Marcy.

And finally, the Anniversary/Babymoon vacation is booked!! WOO HOO!!! We have been alternating between our 2 favorite places every year, Provincetown on the cape in Massachusetts (the gayest little town ever) and Rainbow Mountain (a little gay resort tucked away in the Pocono Mountains).  This year is no different.  We will be spending a week in PTown to celebrate our anniversary and our upcoming little ones.  There’s some talk about possibly getting married out there! It’s still in the air, but we figured, why not! Just the 2 of us, with an officiant, on the beach during sunset.  Who knows! I might come back a married women.  I’ll get to try doing my first maternity shoot and try out some of my new photography equipment.  I’m really just excited to spend some uninterrupted time with my sweetie while we enjoy good food, good music, and each others company and undivided attention.  These 4 years have passed by in a blur but almost slow motion at the same time.  I can’t wait to see where this journey takes us next. Wherever that is, I’m excited and ready for it, as long as Callie is the woman by my side…

Sorry about the quality, but I actually won this competition!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkYEZnqWwSg

September 15th

That’s our move in date! We finally found a 3 bedroom apartment after 4 months of diligent searching and stalking Craigslist, networking with people we know (and some we don’t), and calling broker after broker to see if they had something in our price range.  After seeing something like 9 places, talking to 13 different owners, 4 credit checks, 1 AMAZING place and landlord that loved us and spent an hour and a half chatting with us only to let us know that there are no pets allowed (and you know how i feel about my damn kitty), we found the perfect place. Where, you ask?  In the same complex that we live in now, one building over!

When Callie and I decided to move in together, about a year after we had started dating, we fell in love with a one bedroom in the complex where she grew up.  There are 12 buildings with 4 to each courtyard.  Callie grew up at 43.  We moved into 25 where we lived for almost 2 years.  We didn’t want to leave but when we decided to become foster parents, a 1 bedroom just wasn’t going to cut it.  So we looked, for months, with no luck.  Just as we were about to throw our hands up and give up on the prospect of fostering, our rental office called us and told us that they had a 2 bedroom available one courtyard over. We’d told them to keep us posted if something came up in our price range.  So we recruited our friends with the bribe of pizza and beer, our parents, and our siblings.  We shot over to the next courtyard to building 7.   We moved in about 4 hours, and by the time we were finished (about 7 hours in total) our WHOLE ENTIRE apartment was completely set up.  I still thank my mom for cleaning EVERYTHING and putting it away just as we had it before.

Tuesday, as we were saying, “UGH! We’re over this apartment search! I guess the twins will be sleeping with us for the first couple of months until our lease is up and we’ll just be devastated because we can’t put together the nursery we’ve always wanted”, we get a phone call.  A 3 bedroom 2 BATH (woo hoo!!!!!!!) opened up in the next door in building 3! We told ourselves we didn’t want to pay more than $2500 for rent and utilities, but where we live in NY that’s kind of hard to find.  When you live in the suburbs 20 outside of NYC, you’re looking at about $1500 for a one bedroom.  And the county that we live in has the highest taxes in the NATION! Well, since we have been such great tenants, paying our rent on time, getting great feedback from our neighbors, and it doesn’t hurt that the girls at the rental office love us, they gave us the apartment for $2200, down from $2350.  I KNOW RIGHT?!?! So we’ll be packing as much as we can in the coming week and recruiting our friends again (with the promise of pizza and beer as usual) to move us one floor down, 50 yards over, and 3 floors up.

Best thing about the new apartment (aside from the 2nd bathroom)? All the light! Lots and lots of windows and tons and tons of light.  Our current apartment sits in the middle of an “H” shape.  Because of where our apartment is, it doesn’t matter what side the sun is on, one side of the building is always casting a shadow on our windows.  This new apartment has windows on 2 different sides of the street (it’s on the top left corner of the “H”) with nothing blocking it! The room that we chose for the nursery has 2 windows, gets the most light, right next to our bedroom, and it’s the perfect size for 2 of everything (10ftx14.6ft)!  They are even giving us the key a bit early so we have a little more time to move, since Callie is pregnant and they figured we’d need the head start since she can’t do much.  They have no idea about the moving dream team!

So again, when we are about to give up, the universe keeps telling us to keep going. That everything will work itself out.  So I have the love of my life (when I was over love), twins on the way (after we told ourselves we were over trying to get pregnant), and a beautiful 3 bedroom apartment exactly where we wanted it (while in the middle of a conversation about making it work in our 2 bedroom).  This is a different kind of surrender.  I throw my hands up and let things work out just as they are supposed to…

The hallway in 6pm daylight…Look at all that light!

The layout

My Turn with the Wand

I’m not sure about all the butch lesbians out in the world, but I know my other butch/AG/femme aggressive/futch/NYC lesbian friends make it their business to avoid going to the GYN. I know sometimes when Callie is with her friends and had an appointment at the GYN (pre-pregnancy days) they would sit and inject their conversation with a huge dose of “oh, and at the GYN today…” Say whaaaaaattttt?!?! I will avoid the conversation at all cost. Mainly, because 1) I never go (once every 2 years or so seems like more than enough, thank you!) and 2) Why in the HELL would I want to relive the horrendous experience that is a random stranger, with a fluorescent light, with cold unknown fingers, between my legs, all up in my BIZNESS! Absolutely not! But, it was time to make my bi-(sometimes tri)yearly trip.

Going to the “lady parts” doctor is a freaking process. I’m pretty good about shaving my legs (up to the knee because my cargo shorts hit to about that point so what the heck do I have to shave higher for?!), the underarms because most of the time I can be found in an A-Shirt lounging around my house, and “the goods” are taken care of at least once every 2-3 days. When it’s time for that appointment, we’re talking about a 45 minute mission to get every single hair off my body and I find myself shaving in places I didn’t even know grew hair! I’ve got one leg up, arm over here, hand over there, other leg at some weird angle with my head in some weird Exorcistesque position trying to look at every nook and cranny to find where some dark little hair may lie, razor in one hand, looking like a Puerto Rican pretzel! Trust me! It’s complete madness! But I can’t go in there, meeting this person, exposing myself and have them be like, “Ok Wolverine! Calm down, relax, and drop your knees to the side.”

All of that said, had to go check out the ovaries today, because my PCOS has gotten the best of me. Let me run this down for u. The following are the days that I had AF…
January- 2-16
February- 20-23
March -Nothing
April- Nothing
May – 29-30
June- 6-21, 27-July 13
August – spotting all month

I’m starting to get really aggravated because there have been several times at work where I have completely bled through my clothes. Luckily for me, the times that this has happened have been on my overnight shifts (about 3 times) and the only people in the building are the security guard at the front desk and myself. It’s not like I wasn’t prepared for my period. I have a box (yes! A whole 40 count super plus BOX) of tampons in my backpack, extra pads (because when I get my period I have to wear 2 overnight pads from pretty much my bellybutton to the small of my back) and a crapload of ibuprofen/Motrin/Tylenol to keep the cramps and leg pain at bay. I STILL managed to bleed all the way through my khakis, the corner of my shirt and on my computer chair. Thank goodness I keep a container of Clorox wipes in my desk. As I explained all of this to her, she did my PAP and we talked about going on a low hormone BCP which I’m excited about (NOT), the usual “losing weight with diet and exercise” which is extremely difficult due to the PCOS, trying some Spironolactone for the male pattern hair growth (after all that shit, guess I missed a spot!) and having a transvaginal ultrasound just to kind of confirm that my PCOS was still as I had described it.

We walked over to the sonogram closet ( “room” would be giving the space too much credit), and I sat on the table, put my socked feet in the stirrups and took a deep breath. The wand was directly to my right, and I could see it there, taunting me, with its “Na-Na-Na-poo-poo! You’re gonna get it!” imaginary face. The damn thing wasn’t even looking lubricated enough and I’m thinking to myself, “Really lady!?! I keeps it tight!”. She grabbed the wand, and lucky me, she grabbed some gel out of the warmer and put a whole bunch of it on (what gave it away? The baby speculum I requested during the PAP?), and indeed confirmed all of the ridiculous amounts of tiny cysts in most of my follicles. CURSES! I was hoping it wouldn’t be as prominent as it had been 2-3 years ago, but I was wrong! While feeling tons of pressure, the need to pee desperately, and just totally uncomfortable, I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling of admiration and love for Callie. She must have been through this at least, at minimum, 6-7 times a month for 16 months. The amount of love that that woman has for me and for our family and for us, to have to endure this kind of thing countless times made me realize that I have to suck it up, put on my big girl boxer briefs (or take them off actually) and get things done so that I can one day be able to have a healthy body to host our next baby. Callie’s little embryos will hopefully like living in my body, despite how hectic and damaged it all may seem right now.

When it was all said and done, I threw my clothes back on as quickly as I could, tied up my Clark’s, washed and sanitized my hands, grabbed my prescription, made an appointment for a follow-up in 2 months (What the eff!?!?! 2 visits in one year?! This ish is getting outta hand!) and hauled ass. I got into my car and on my 25 minute drive home decided, “Hey! You know what? I’m gonna join the club of ladies who talk to their besties about their misadventures at the GYN.” And hopefully, in about a year and a few months, this will all be sorted out and my body will be ready to do what it always felt it needed/had to… Be a belly-mama…

Freaking AWESOME and Are You Freaking KIDDING Me!?!?

Freaking Awesome – Callie thinks she has been feeling the babies move for a little over a week now.  Initially she thought it was gas, but her gas is usually accompanied by this “gremlins in her gut” sound.  For the longest we have been calling it “aliens”.  She’s been having this feeling, but without the sounds, so we kinda figured it might be the babies.  As she was driving home on Thursday from work, she felt that strange feeling again.  By the time she got home though, she wasn’t feeling much of anything except exhausted and panicked (the phone tag with the nurses from the last entry).  But last night, while we were preparing our favorite lazy Saturday night dinner of chicken nuggets and tater tots (Mary loves it, but we love not cooking more!), I saw callie’s face change. I asked her, “What’s a’matter? Are you ok? Are they moving or something?” She grabbed my hand and put it on the lowest part of her belly.  After about 15 seconds I felt it! The tiniest little push! One of those babies was in there kicking up a storm.  We left the chicken nuggets on the tray and the tater tots mid seasoned (try some olive oil, rosemary, and garlic-AMAZING), and all 3 of us laid on the couch to feel them kicking away.  It was freaking INCREDIBLE!!!! The more I pushed them, the more they pushed back.  The 3 of us giggled and giggled until we realized that 40 minutes had passed and the food was still sitting on the counter where we left it.  So we got up, finished seasoning the tots and put everything in the oven.  We watched Disney’s Maleficent, brushed teeth, tucked Mary into bed, kissedher goodnight, told her we loved her, and retreated to our bedroom.  They didn’t move any more after that, at least not that I could feel, but that was more than enough for me.  I slept and dreamt of my 2 glorious babies trying to use Morse Code to communicate with me!

Are You Freaking Kidding Me?!?!?-  We have been having a pretty difficult time with Mary the past couple of weeks.  She currently has one hour bi-weekly visits with her mom.  The case worker must supervise them.  I’m going to assume that because the summer is a really busy time with families taking vacations and court dates and things like that, she hasn’t really had the time to dedicate to her visits.  The past month (2 visits) have been supervised by a random case worker who has no clue what is going on with our case.  Mary’s mom has been told on several occasions by our worker that she is not say things about Mary’s placement.  For example, stop telling her that she is coming home soon. She is not.  Stop telling her that you are going to buy her whatever animals she wants (like freaking ferrets and sugar gliders!!!) so that she can have them when she comes home. You are not.  And please don’t discuss her moving with her aunt in another state and that she has tons of kids and a huge house.  She does not!  Mary has been coming home from these visits completely bent out of shape and uncooperative.  Her attitude has been the pits, and she is back to her sneaky behavior.  We have a few rules in our home that are non-negotiable.  You MUST make your bed every day.  You MUST brush your teeth in the morning and at night.  You DO NOT go into our room without asking (everyone has that drawer that they do not want ANYONE going in, let alone a kid.  There will be a lot of ‘splaining to do), and no gum chewing in the house! Gum is a special treat.  Her teeth aren’t so great and we have spent time getting gum off of the floor.   We don’t use the negative way of saying it, obviously. So last week, I went into her bedroom to put some of her jewelry away in  her jewelry box.  What do I find inside?

SERIOUSLY?!?!?!

7 GUM WRAPPERS!!! This isn’t even all of them!!! I found the other half stashed in a toy box.  She got in trouble and was not allowed to watch TV or play computer that day.  2 days later, I was looking for my pack of gum all over the place.  I couldn’t find it.  Callie, her best friend Jenny and I are sitting on the couch.  Mary was in her bedroom.  She came over to the living room to give us hugs and Callie smelled the delicious tropical fruitiness that is my favorite gum.  When she stopped, looked and her and said “Open your mouth”, her face turned beet red and she was CAUGHT! Rule #1 broken – no chewing gum in the house.  “Where did you get the gum?” I don’t know! Rule #2 broken -freaking lying!.  I’m gonna ask you again and you better tell the truth. “Your Room” – Rule #3 broken! Take your behind to your room.  No dessert after dinner.  She was not allowed electronics that day.  So today, I’m at work, and I get a text from Callie. “She’s at it again!!!!”  Callie gave her breakfast, went to lay down, and about 25 minutes later, she went out to the living room to watch a movie with Mary.  Mary Surprised to see her, and dove onto the couch, put her face in the pillow and claimed to be sooooo tired.  Callie found it quite curious, so she made her sit up.  As she was sitting up, it was blatantly obvious that she was trying to park the gum in her cheek.  OH MAN!!!! That was it! Callie was furious! “WHERE ARE THE WRAPPERS!!!!!!!!!!”

BEHIND THE FRIDGE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Starburst wrappers, fortune cookie wrappers, Hershey kiss wrappers, gum wrappers, every kind of freaking wrapper you could think of.  Yup, it’s back there.  Needless to say, no electronics for the next 2 days.  And she better not ask me for a treat when I get home from work! I think I’ll lose it! How does a 6 year old get so sneaky, because it was obviously well thought out! Correcting this behavior is gonna be so challenging.  Might have to pull out the parenting book for this one folks! Wish me luck!

GUACABABIES!!!

Week 16- Our babies are the size of avocados! One of my friends dubbed them Guacababies, which we think is hilarious! They are doing everything they should be doing.  Their limbs are getting longer and more proportioned to the rest of their bodies.  Their little necks look a little more elongated.  Their little ears are right where they should be.  And they did super splits to show us all the goods! We officially know the gender of both of our babies, but we aren’t telling! Showing up at my parents house after our appointment yesterday was a little scary.  I could totally envision my dad shaking the hell out of me to spill the beans.  He used to do that to us when we were little.  My dad never hit us, (well, once when I was extra fresh but totally deserved it!) but he would grab us by our shirt collar and shake us around a bit!  When your 8, its super scary, but now that I’m older, it’s pretty damn funny!  He even offered to give Callie $20 to tell him! LAWD!!!! They swear they know what they are because of our facial expressions, but I can assure you that we did not let on.  Then my pregnant younger sister, Natasha, shows up and starts interrogating us as well and trying to get an inkling of what they are because she “can see it in our faces!”  I’m certain, we did not!

(I just realized that this post left out the second part! So annoying!)

Then I get a text message from my sister Raquel telling me that she knows what we’re having because, “Me and Sean (her fiancé) know everything!” Suuuuurrreee you’re right! But I entertained her suggestion and verified that she was still up for getting cake pops for the reveal. That’s a go! 60 cake pops thanks to Tia Raquel. Watching everyone get so worked up about this gender stuff is pretty funny. The death threats through text message though, not so much!

On Wednesday, the day before our 16 week appointment with our perinotologist, the nurse called Callie to give her the results for her blood work. She made it sound like something was wrong. Callie freaked, and kept trying to call back. After being on hold for forever, they told her that the doctors were gone for the day but they would make a note. I told Callie, “If it’s important, they’ll call back.” Wouldn’t you know, they DID call back, this time while Cal’s was in the shower! So we called back again, and “it’s after hours. We’ll leave a note.” Good thing we had our appointment the next day! Turns out that the protein levels on the AFP test were really high, BUT the phlebotomist forgot to tell the lab that it was twins! Tools!!! So proteins were high for singletons, but totally normal for twins. PHEW! Mama meltdown avoided!

With that said, every time I see my babies, I lose it! I get so excited! Their heartbeats are music to my ears. I record at least a minute from each session, even though we’re not supposed to. SUE ME! During our sonogram on Friday, we came to the realization that Baby A is actually Baby Acrobat! It was flipping upside down, around, and even decided to moon us at one point! Cutest culito I’ve ever seen! Our little Baby B is still his/her calm self, always stretched out and relaxed. It looks like its always trying to find its finger because again, he/she had the hands near the face being a little dramatic. AS USUAL! I love those babies! This amazing time is going so fast but so slow. I want to meet them so badly, but I love how gorgeous and happy Callie is during all of this. Week 16 is gonna be just as awesome…

My gorgeous girl at 16 weeks

My cutie little Baby Acrobat! Upside down! This one is gonna be a handful, but maybe I’ll overlook it because of that adorable little profile.

Our Baby B. Mellow baby with a hand near his/her head all the time. And that little nose is to die for!

Live the Life You Love

A few years ago, I decided to take some time to myself and try and correct some of the situations in my life.  After a 3rd unsuccessful attempt at trying to take my own life, I decided that I didn’t want to live like that any more. Something had to change.  I spent 2 months in an inpatient psychiatric hospital and almost 2 years doing an outpatient DBT program.  It wouldn’t be fair for me to say that the program changed my life.  It changed everything.  It changed the way I see things, the way I express myself, the way I react to the way people express themselves.  It taught me to understand my emotions, to process things properly and effectively, and just made me an all around better person.  It made the way people interacted with me, especially my family.  It was the hardest work that I have ever done in my life.

When I came home from inpatient (back to my parents house by their request!), I was greeted by a beautiful card from my sister Raquel.  Next to the card was a box, and in that box was a bracelet.  The words, “Live the Life You Love” were engraved on it.  She wasn’t sure if I would like it much because she felt that it was too feminine for my taste.  And it was, but something about the message and the thought behind it made me love it.  I wore it almost every day for the next year, taking care not to snag it, or leave it anywhere, taking it off and putting it in a pouch while doing yard work or washing dishes.  It was a constant reminder to work hard so that I could do just that! Live the life I love.

While all of this was going on, I was also on another journey. Sobriety.  While in the rooms (kinda mandated but kinda not), and questioning every bad decision I had ever made because of my drug and alcohol use, I would look down and be reminded why I was there.  I needed to get it together.  I needed to keep pushing forward and learn from my mistakes.  That was a little over 5 years ago.  I may have gone back to some of my bad habits a few times, but I always remembered what the ultimate goal was.  For as long as I can remember, I wanted a happy life, with lots of love, understanding, friends that cared about me and that I cared about, support from my family.  As I started cleaning up my act, getting honest with others AND most importantly myself, as I confronted the things that were bothering me, as I surrounded myself with positive people and their infectious positive energy, I realized that I always had all the things that I wanted.  I was just too wrapped up in my own misery to realize it.

My sister didn’t realize that such a small, kind gesture would have such a profound impact on my life.  A sterling silver bracelet with 5 simple words on it, “Live the Life You Love” would effect me the way it did.  The constant reminder that life is what we make it.  Today, I love my life! I’m living it the best way I know how, doing my best to remember that people rely on me as much as I rely on them.  That I love hard and fervidly, and sometimes they wont love be back and that’s okay.  That I make mistakes and learn from them.  That I take responsibility for my actions.  That losing is no big deal, and that when you screw up, you fix as quickly as you can.  I say sorry when I’m wrong or hurt someone’s feelings, and that people won’t always say sorry when they do it to me.  I can’t complain about the life that I’ve created for myself.  I can’t really complain about anything! This week, as I was going through my hiking pack getting ready for an overnight hike to Mount Marcy with Marco, I found it inside it’s usual little pouch. I thought I had lost it months back and was devastated! But there it was, as awesome as ever.  It reminded me of all those little things that sometimes I forget.  And i realize, life is good, and I’m Living the Life I Love…

6 hours later….

For the past six hours, I have been diligently working on making the wearable decorations for our reveal party. It has been tedious, as I got stabbed by a fork several times while making miniature bows, burned my finger tips with the hot glue gun, got pink acrylic paint on one of favorite shirts, and had to explain to a 6 year old that the incessant questions are making me want to throw her off the boat! “I’M BUSY!!! JESUS!!!!!!!” But they came out FANTASTIC! I’m pretty impressed with myself. I’m not so bad at crafts after all.

Oh yeah, and Callie’s Snoogle came in. I am no longer her favorite cuddle thing. I have been rejected!

Week 15

We have made it to week 15! We thank our lucky stars every day that we have been fortunate enough to have Callie be the host to these amazing little beings. It’s still crazy to think that there are two perfectly little angelic, tiny humans in that belly. That those 6-pack abs of hers have rounded off into this perfectly, divinely feminine bump containing all of our hopes and dreams and our entire future. Still surreal!

We had our monthly appointment with our OB. We FINALLY got to see our little Pumpkin and Sweet Pea. They are so adorable! They were putting on a show for us. As soon as the sonographer turned the monitor on, we noticed that they were ying-yanging! Baby A (Pumpkin) was showing off its beautiful little profile and its tiny nose in all its perfection and Baby B (Sweet Pea) was looking right at us, yawning and smiling and rubbing its eyes! Sweet Pea was even being a little extra dramatic giving us its ever present “woe is me” face and a hand to the temple!

The sonographer also noticed that at one point they were actually looking at each other and interacting. It’s almost like they were laughing and communicating. She said she’d never seen any twins do that before. Nice to know that even in utero they are BFFing! I love the idea of that! You hear about the special bond that twins have with each other, but there we were seeing it for ourselves! It was something I’ll never forget seeing, and it melted my heart instantly.

Also, we were able to find out what the gender of our little Sweet Pea is! Pumpkin, who is currently breached was not even trying to cooperate. He/she was too busy playing around and kicking those little toothpick legs. But either way, we’re not telling anyone until our reveal party. Let’s see how well we fare not spilling the beans for another 4 weeks! I am so in love with these two little beings! Somehow, I feel like they were meant just for us, just for me! Can’t wait to see them again next Friday at our next appointment, and maybe Pumpkin will feel like cooperating. Something tells me, he/she is gonna be stubborn like his/her mommy.

Best. Kitty. Ever!

I’ve come to realize that you are either a cat person or a dog person.  I, am definitely a dog person. Always have been and always will be.  Callie and I have had many an argument as to why dogs are amazing (or horrible according to her) and why cats are so stupid (or magical in Callie’s eyes).  This is my formal apology to the woman I love.  I’m SORRY! Gracie is the best kitty ever!

Callie had been asking since we moved in together if we could get a cat.  “Cats suck, and they are anti-social.  They tear up your furniture and they freaking stink! To HELL with cats!”  It’s always been our BIGGEST disagreement.  “Well dogs are freaking annoying and they bark too damn much and they will chew up all my shoes!”  This ALWAYS happened when we brought up the idea of getting a pet besides our rabbit and 3 cockatiels.  Having had dogs in my life, I looked forward to coming home where they would be waiting for me at the door with their tales wagging, anticipating that long awaited head scratch and belly rub.  They were the joy of my life, those dogs.  Callie had cats her whole life. Her parents got her one when she was about three because of her obsession with death.  The pediatrician recommended that they get a dog, but since the apartment wouldn’t allow it, they got her a cat instead.  She had Sassy for 18 years and later on got Pepper who they had for about 17.

During the whole time we were TTC, I noticed that Callie was really struggling to find a happy place.  She was stressed, worried, anxious, borderline depressed, and the fact that no Dr’s or RE’s could give us any definitive answers made the whole ordeal even more difficult.  I was given a more permanent position at my new job and ended up with a schedule that included 2 overnights.  In the whole time that we had been living together, we may have spent all of 2 nights apart, and now every week would requite 2 nights of not sleeping in the same bed.   After a few weeks of this schedule, the conversation about getting a pet to keep us company (her at night and me during the days) became a more prominent one.  I was still adamant about getting a dog, and she wouldn’t budge about the cat.  I did some searching online to find dogs we could rescue.  I was dead set on getting a dog and screw those damn cats!  As I was driving past the County Center, I saw a sign for a massive pet adoption.  “That’s where I’ll go and get me a cute little puppy!” And so I went…

I walked in and took a look at all of the dogs.  They were everywhere in this massive basketball arena sized room! There were small ones, big ones, ugly ones, cute ones, sick ones, and ones that I wanted to take home right that second.  As I was walking around,  off to the left, was a door to a room that had a huge sign that said, “CATS”.  I literally said out loud, “UGH! FINE! I’ll look, but i’m not gonna find anything!”  As I walk into the room, which couldn’t have been bigger than the size of 2 classrooms (convincing me even more that dogs OBVIOUSLY are better than cats), out of the corner of my eye, I see this little gray kitty.  It was just sitting there, with the saddest eyes and the cutest yawn.  I came over to the crate, and before I even got close enough she was up, rubbing her body against my hand with was pressed against the cage.  

Lady– “Do you wanna hold her hun?”
Me- “Uhhh, no thanks.”
Lady– “Are you sure? She seems to like you. She hasn’t gotten up all day.” She’s opening the crate.
Me– “No really. (smiling for fake) It’s okay. ” She hands me the cat.
Lady– “Her adoption fee is cheap and she’s from a high kill shelter.  She’s only 10 weeks old, and needs a home. Wanna go in that room over there and feel her out?”

She put the kitty in my hands and before I knew it, she was rubbing her little head on my cheek and purring fantastically.  I didn’t need the room.  I was taking this kitty home.  Callie would love her, and would be beyond happy to have this new addition to our family.  Gracie came into our lives on April 25th, 2014. Since then, she has been the joy of this family.  She waits for me at the door when I come home from work.  She sits next to me on the couch and nudges my hand so I can just rest it on her back.  She lays in my bed and gives me sandpaper kisses when I snooze my alarm and could possibly turn later to work.  She lays on the floor on the bathroom rug (probably making sure that I don’t slip and fall) while I shower.  She lays on Callie’s belly at bed time, and checks on Mary when she’s sick.  She’s probably the best pet I’ve ever had.  To think, that I was totally against having her.   I got lucky to have the Best. Kitty. Ever.

Gracie (because she’s Gray, See!?!)

Worlds best kitty

Watching over Mary when she’s sick

14 Weeks and Gender Reveal Planning

It’s been 14 weeks into this pregnancy (well today is 14w3d but who’s counting?!) and things are still rolling along smoothly.  Callie is starting to get what we assume is some round ligament pain. It’s down really low in her pubic area and only to one side.  Since neither of us knows what it’s really supposed to feel like, we’re just sort of assuming that’s what it is.  The “Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy” pretty much describes exactly what she is feeling.  She’s also been getting headaches pretty frequently. They aren’t every day and they don’t last very long, but we’re going to ask our OB when we see him this coming Thursday and make sure that there is nothing wrong or abnormal about that.  We understand that preeclampsia starts with headaches and is more likely to happen when carrying multiples. We bought ourselves a Sonoline B fetal Doppler and we listen to our babies every night, but we do miss seeing them once a week terribly! Pro’s of not going to the fertility clinic every week – Not going every week! Cons- it feels like we NEVER get to see our babies and we were used to seeing them at least once a week, sometimes twice! Hopefully, they might be able to tell us their gender.  Either way, the following week we get to see the Perinatologist who said she would more than likely be able to see as long as they cooperate.  We keep getting told that our babies are very well behaved (stretching alllllllll the way out when we have U/S’s), and that it takes half the time to scan our twins than it does to scan a singleton.  Hopefully, it’ll stay that way!

When life hands you lemons!
(Ain’t she the cutest?!?!)

Hopefully, they will definitely be able to tell us the gender of the babies by the first week of September because we have already sent out the invitations for our Gender Reveal Party set for September 13th! It’s really exciting, but it would be really bad if we had no idea what they were.  Knowing our luck, they wont want to cooperate.  We’re both very reserved about out “privates” so our guess, our babies will be too! We’ve invited about 60 people, which sounds like a lot, but really isn’t.  Just my siblings, their significant others, my parents, and my nieces and nephews are 14 people. With Callie’s parents, brother, and her grandmother, we are almost at 20, so technically we really only invited 40 people, which is reasonable.  Everyone is so excited because they are ready to shower these babies with so much love, which in our eyes, they already have.  We have to keep telling people, PLEASE NO GIFTS, because they keep asking what we want or what is customary! We just want to share that moment with them.  We did really well with buying all of our decorations.  Thank you Walmart.com for all of your 87 cent stuff! We got enough decorations for 8 tables, pink and blue plates and cups for 100, cutlery, 100 gender reveal napkins, 8 mini honeycomb gender reveal signs, pink and blue balloons, and pink and blue crepe paper. I only spent $43!!!  We are having it at the marina where we keep our boat, under the gazebo, BBQ style. My mom is going to make her famous yellow rice with pigeon peas, and Callie’s mom is going to make her mouth watering Mac-n-Cheese.  Other family has volunteered to make some other stuff, and my sister ( who is a year younger than me and just got engaged Friday night at the Coliseum in Italy—WOO HOO!!!!!) is getting about 50 cake pops for us from a friend of hers.  How are we gonna tell everyone, you ask?  We bought 60 black balloons.  Inside the balloons with be either blue or pink confetti, or both.  Everyone will pop the balloons at the same time and TADA!!!! Confetti color=a lot of excited family and friends. Hopefully, it will all go off without a hitch and no one will pop their balloons too early, but I’ll make sure of that! I’ll have to cut someone! J/K, or am I??? We are making copies of the u/s’s from our first to the most recent, backing them on pink and blue construction paper and stringing them as decorations.  We are painting clothes pins blue and pink and adding little pink bows or blue bows at the top and letting people wear their guesses. There will also lip cut outs and mustache cut outs on straws for good measure.  Should be a good time.  Time to get my craft on!  With my busy schedule, I have to start making all of these things now.  I’ll be posting pics in the next week or 2 with some of the finished decorations.  Until then, I’ll just keep dreaming about these babies, and first pray that they are healthy and safe, and then that I have one of each, so I wont have to throw myself off of a bridge but If I don’t, I’d be just fine…