Welcome Back Lasciviousness! Welcome Back!

It’s fair to say that after almost a year and a half of TTC, hormones that made us BOTH crazy, Dr.’s appointments every other day, and my Callie just not feeling sexy and much like herself, WE ARE BACK IN ACTION! I repeat: WE ARE BACK IN ACTION! Not that we have every really been much of a sexual couple, but when it was time to get busy, we sure did! These past couple of months especially, have been TORTURE! Torture I tell you!!!  Wanting to touch and caress every inch of Callie’s body and her not wanting much to deal with that, has been quite difficult.  Even though she wasn’t pregnant at the time, the hormones were changing her body.  She felt fat and not very attractive.  Her weight was fluctuating and she was finding it hard to find things to wear that made her feel sexy.  Hormones and stress were taking a toll on her skin and hair. She was overtired.  She was anxious, nervous, and awaiting good news that seemed to never come.  I wanted to reassure her that I saw her no differently and that she was still my beautiful Babeski (an affectionate term we made up and have convinced ourselves means “little piggy” in German which we actually found out is Saumensch which we occasionally call each other) but with things going on and her mind not being in the right place, it was difficult for her to let herself go and allow us to be. She was ok with it being like that for a while. I, on the other hand, damn near lost my sh*t recently.

In my own selfish way, I started feeling unattractive, fat, less than desirable, and like my “skills” weren’t up to par.  “Am I a crappy lovemaker?” “Tell me what you want me to change!” “How long have you hated having sex with me?” “WHO ELSE ARE YOU F*CKING!?!?!?!?!  All of these things, of course, were just me being ridiculous and needing to feel connected to my honey.  Our schedules were on opposites, all these appointments, adjustments to our new school age foster daughters schedule with tutoring and therapy and visits with her mom, and just the madness of life was leaving us disconnected.  I was looking for something that would bring us back together.

Well, Friday, we both decided to take the day off and “reconnect”, and boy did we ever! We reconnected alright! On the couch, in the shower, in the bedroom, on the boat, and last night we did a little reconnecting after we put the kiddo to bed.  Maybe it’s all her pregnancy hormones or maybe my hormones with all this inducing lactation stuff, but finally, we are back! And being back feels good!



2 thoughts on “Welcome Back Lasciviousness! Welcome Back!

  1. I know how this goes already and worry so much that my poor wife will feel bad if/when I’m not interested. You should do a post on inducing lactation. I want Kate to do it with our first and then I’ll do it when she carries. It just seems very very hard to do.

    • I wrote a blog post a few weeks ago about that, but i haven’t really written much else because nothing is really happening. On saturday i got 1 freaking drop! ONE!!!! i was so excited, i called callie and she damn near tripped over a fishing rod, ran down into the cabin of the boat and was like, “YAY!!! So proud of you!” but it just takes a lot or work and dedication. It’s a long process if your going naturally as I am. I could totally take hormones and all of that, but because of my PCOS my body just doesn’t do well with BC, so im trying to stay away from it. But if it doesnt happen by month 3, then i’m gonna have to go that route…but they also have the Lact-Aid which is a supplementer for nursing which we’re gonna buy. Really the best way to induce lactation is to have baby latch on and nurse with a supplementer until your milk comes in, but I’ll post again about it once something is actually happening. And about the whole sex thing, Callie was really good about verbalizing what she was feeling and going through so it made it a little easier for me to be “ok” with what was happening…so just communicate what ur feeling regardless, but im pretty sure you do… 😉

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